We have all set goals at one point or another, we have all achieved some of those goals, and we have all failed some too. Often life throws us “yes or no” questions or situations where the solution appears to be black or white, but when measuring our successes, things might not be as simple and there’s often not a definitive marker of success. Often if we don’t meet our goal in its entirety, we may feel a sense of failure. This sense of failure tends to demotivate people keeping s from striving toward completion of a goal. For this reason, it is important to be aware of how you are gauging your success.

In an earlier blog (found here), the premise of setting SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-bound) was discussed. Setting yourself up for success starts at creating SMART goals. However, these goals might be far in the future as opposed to immediate gratification. As humans, it is easy to lose motivation when something is far away or when there are hiccups, which can lead to what feels like a failure. Let’s see an example:

Imagine that you are setting a SMART goal for yourself to live a healthier life. This includes better eating, more sleep, more exercise, less alcohol, more self-care. For example, a SMART goal around this could look like this: I want to lose 5 pounds within a month.

Specific: The goal is to lose 5 pounds.

                        Measurable: You can measure loss or gains on a scale.

                        Attainable: For most individuals, losing 1-2 pounds per week is reasonable

                        Relatable: If losing 5 pounds would lead you to a healthier life, it is relatable.

                        Time-bound: Giving yourself one month.

Let’s say a month has gone by and it is time for you to weigh yourself on the scale. Knowing that there were a couple of cheat days between all the hard-working days you feel confident that you reached your goal. You step on the scale and you only see a weight loss of three pounds.

Needless to say, you did not achieve your SMART goal of losing five pounds and when you ask yourself,  “were you successful this month?” Using a yes or no framework will unfortunately lead you to a very negative and disappointing conclusion.

There are times where all-or-nothing thinking benefits us, however, when measuring the success of our goals, it is important to take into consideration what we do achieve and the progress that we made towards our goals. In this scenario, no, you did not achieve your goal of losing five pounds in its entirety. However, the ultimate goal is to make a change in your life to healthier living, and losing three pounds is a successful start.

For those of you familiar with the “Pass or No-pass” grading scale in the academic system bear with me, while I briefly explain it for those who are not aware. Students are at times able to take a class for a pass or no pass grade instead of taking it for a more traditional letter grade. The way the pass no pass system works is that if you score above 70% in the course, you pass the class and everything below that is a failing grade (no-pass).

Now imagine if the academic system used the same measurement we impose on ourselves when  measuring our successes or failures. Think about a university course being graded using an “all or nothing” or a “yes or no” method. In simpler terms if we applied this system to classes you would be either you get 100% in the class or you fail. Sounds crazy right?

When setting goals, it is important to allow ourselves to “fail” a little bit, give ourselves some room to not perfectly accomplish your goal. Just because you didn’t completely reach your stated goal doesn’t mean that you have failed. It might be cliché, but the only real way to have failed was not to try at all.

When these types of failures present themselves in your life you have two choices, you either celebrate the three pounds you have lost and adjust for the following month if you want to lose more, or you can choose to let the weight of the failure bring you down.