Therapy can be life-changing for so many people. But what happens when it’s not? What happens if you get bad therapy?

There are many different ways to define “bad therapy” but what I’m referring to is more than an uncomfortable session or a minor disagreement with your therapist. Bad therapy happens when the therapeutic process itself isn’t meeting your needs, either due to a lack of empathy, poor boundaries, or ineffective techniques. Therapy should be a supportive, constructive experience, but sometimes the approach, communication style, or even the therapist's behavior can make things worse instead of better. Recognizing the signs of bad therapy is crucial so you can feel empowered to make a change and find a therapeutic relationship that genuinely supports your growth and well-being.

In my nearly two decades of working with clients, I have heard about all types of experiences that clients have had with previous therapists. Some are funny (when my client shared that their therapist passed gas in session), some are uncomfortable (the client who watched their therapist trim their fingernails during their session), and some are more serious and could be considered “bad” or even harmful.

Let’s walk through some examples of what would make therapy” bad.” Being able to recognize these issues can help you make choices about your therapy.

Your Therapist is not Well-Trained or Isn’t a Therapist at All

You may not know, but “therapist” is not a protected term. This means that anyone can call themselves a therapist. However, titles such as psychologist, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, or Licensed Clinical Social Worker are protected and you cannot legally use these terms to describe yourself unless you have met all of the rigorous requirements to use that term. If you didn’t know that, you’re not alone. Most people aren’t aware and there are people who intentionally work to obscure what they are or are not. To avoid this, be sure to thoroughly research your therapist or potential therapist. In the first several sessions, be willing to ask questions. While a therapist may choose not to answer personal questions, they need to be forthcoming and honest about background, training, and experience.

Lack of Understanding or Empathy

Therapy should be a place where you feel safe, heard, and respected. Empathy from your therapist—genuine understanding and compassion for your experiences—is central to creating this environment. If a therapist is dismissive, judgmental, or uninterested, it can make it hard to open up, stalling your progress and leaving you feeling unseen. This could show up as your therapist appearing disinterested, giving feedback before listening to you all the way through, judging your lifestyle or choices, or minimizing your concerns.

Experiencing a single moment of judgment or a misstep doesn’t necessarily mean you need to end the therapeutic relationship. Even the best therapists are human, and occasional misunderstandings can happen. If address this issue with your therapist and they become defensive or more dismissive or the behavior continues, it might be time to look for a new therapist.

Pushing an Agenda or Belief System

Therapy is meant to be a nonjudgmental, open space where you explore your own beliefs, values, and goals—not a place where you feel pressured to adopt someone else’s worldview. A therapist who imposes their personal, religious, or political beliefs on clients risks shifting the focus away from the client’s needs and undermining the therapeutic process. If you feel like your therapist is discrediting your values, it may be time for a change.

Your Therapist Treats You Like a Friend or Family Member

A professional therapeutic relationship requires clear boundaries, which allow the therapist to maintain objectivity and provide support that is both unbiased and rooted in clinical expertise. When a therapist starts to treat you as a friend or family member—being overly casual, sharing personal issues, or offering overly familiar advice—it can blur these boundaries and make the therapeutic space feel less safe or focused. This doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy your therapist - that’s a perk! It also doesn’t preclude your therapist from being human or sharing superficial details from life (or impactful details that help you feel safe such as if they are a member of the LGBTQ+ community or identify as neurodivergent). This would be when your therapist is divulging so much information or blurring boundaries so significantly that you feel like you’re in a friendship, rather than a professional, therapeutic relationship. And certainly, your therapist encouraging you to get together for social engagements outside of the session would be an automatic red flag.

Your Therapist is Disorganized

Therapy requires a strong foundation of trust and reliability. When a therapist is disorganized—whether they’re consistently late, often forget session details, or frequently rescheduling—it can make you feel like an afterthought and jeopardize the stability of the therapeutic relationship. A therapist’s lack of organization can disrupt the sense of safety and continuity that is essential for effective therapy.

Harmful Therapy

The examples provided above talk about therapy with unhelpful behaviors by therapists. This is very different from harm caused by treatment or a therapist. In some cases, unethical behavior can lead to real harm in therapy. Manipulation, exploitation, or emotional abuse within therapy can leave clients feeling worse than before. Keep in mind that there are some very clear, nonnegotiable boundaries for all therapists. Therapy should never include sexual contact between you and your therapist. Breaches of confidentiality, except in legally required cases, are another form of harm, as clients should feel confident that what they share in therapy stays within those walls.

If you have been harmed by the actions of a therapist, you can reach out to the governing board for the therapist for your state. You can google the licensing board for [type of therapist] in [your state] and learn how to make a report. These boards exist to review the actions of its licensees and are in place to protect you, the consumer.

Although I shared a few examples from previous clients about “bad therapy” experiences, I want you all to know that I’ve heard far more “good therapy” stories over the years. Good therapy is about more than following techniques. It’s about building a relationship grounded in respect, empathy, and ethical responsibility. If you find yourself experiencing any of the red flags described, know that effective, supportive therapy is possible. Advocate for yourself, and seek a therapist who respects your boundaries and aligns with your values to help you navigate life’s challenges in a meaningful, ethical way.