Wellness Therapy of San Diego

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First-World Problems Are Still Real-Life Problems

I often hear the phrase “first-world problems” being thrown around as a means of invalidating one's current suffering. Additionally, I also hear it being used to minimize one’s problems by comparing them to much more significant (often extreme) problems that others might be experiencing. 

Saying to ourselves “someone has it worse” or “first-world problem” might be a helpful way of keeping us grounded and bringing gratefulness into our lives. However, it is not usually helpful nor productive towards fixing a problem or managing difficult thoughts and/or feelings toward a situation. In fact, it often just makes the suffering worse since now you have found a splendid way to invite guilt into the party. 

Imagine that a beautiful fig tree in your backyard is starting to grow too large. The roots are starting to wind between the underground piping and are headed towards the foundation of the house. If nothing is done about this problem, it will soon damage the piping and threaten your house's structural integrity. In contrast to all the horrible things currently happening in the world, you might be quick to dismiss this as a “first-world” problem. 

Of course, you might be privileged to have a house, food security, possible financial stability, maybe a family, and a backyard. However, such a simple problem (compared to others who may not have these privileges) can often have rippling effects across our lives.

Most people find it challenging to determine what worries they should or should not validate as well as accurately assess the scope of the problem versus the impact that it might have on one's own life.

This is why it may be helpful at times to view and evaluate a situation in our lives using Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. 

Maslow’s Hierarchies of What??

Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is a theory in psychology including five levels of human needs, often depicted as a pyramid. From the bottom of the pyramid toward the top, the needs are physiological (food and clothing), safety (shelter, job security), love and belonging needs (friendship and family), esteem (how we feel about ourselves), and self-actualization (where a person is fully realized). The theory suggests that just like a videogame, one must meet the lower level to be able to go up to the next level. 

For the purpose of this blog, we will focus on the second level, which is safety. Assuming that you have food security, safe drinking water, enough clothing or technology to protect you from nature, then you have fulfilled the first level and can focus on the next. Using the example of the fig tree roots, this issue falls within the second level - having your shelter being threatened. 

If you will soon be threatened by not having running water or more severe consequences from the roots of the tree damaging the foundation of the house, then it might be no surprise that other aspects of your life are currently also taking a hit; for instance, your family dynamic (level 3), feelings of self-worth and accomplishment (level 4), and your general level of satisfaction in life (level 5).  That is, something that affects us in one part of life, can begin to affect and destabilize other parts of our life.

It is entirely normal and valid for a non-life-threatening situation to have major consequences in your life. It is, without a doubt, that we are privileged to be even facing these types of stressors. It is also totally okay to be grateful that something like dealing with root overgrowth is the worst thing that is happening in your life. However, this does not take away from the severity of the psychological stress that someone in these types of situations can experience. Validating these issues can keep you from feeling guilt and also allows you the emotional space to take action so that you’re overall wellbeing isn’t further affected.

Remember, first-world problems are still real-life problems.