For many, the holidays are a time of gathering, laughter, and connection with family and friends. But for others, the holiday season and celebrations amplify feelings of isolation, especially if you don’t have a close network of people to share it with. Loneliness is much more common than it seems, particularly during this time of year.

Millions of people feel lonely or disconnected during the holiday season. This is often because of geographical distance, fractured relationships, loss of loved ones, or simply not having a strong social circle. It’s important to acknowledge that these feelings are valid and that it’s okay to feel sadness during a time that’s often portrayed as purely joyful. While it’s unlikely that you’ll be able to escape feelings of loneliness during the holidays fully, there are things you can do to take care of yourself and create a meaningful experience even if you’re spending the holidays solo.

Why Loneliness Feels So Intense During the Holidays

It’s no secret that the holiday season puts pressure on people to only express feelings of joy and love. As social media has become an integral part of most people’s daily lives, it often seems like we’re more focused on cultivating the perfect social media picture to post than we are on being present - of course, this is to keep up with everyone else whose feeds become filled with family gatherings, gift exchanges, and celebrations. This can leave those who are alone feeling like something is wrong with them or that they’re somehow missing out.

Man sitting alone in the park will fall trees

Feeling lonely during the holidays doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. There are ways to reframe the experience and cope with the emotions that arise.

Engage in Self-Compassion

Self-compassion can be a powerful antidote to loneliness. Instead of criticizing yourself for being alone or feeling down, practice kindness and understanding toward yourself. Talk to yourself as you would to a close friend who is going through a tough time. Acknowledge that many people are in the same position and that your worth is not determined by whether or not you have company during the holidays.

Stay Connected—Even Virtually

If traveling to see family or friends isn’t an option, consider connecting through video calls, phone chats, or even online communities. Studies have shown that social connection, even in virtual spaces, can reduce feelings of loneliness. You can join a virtual holiday event, reconnect with old friends, or even volunteer online, which brings a sense of purpose and connection to others in need.

Create New Traditions

Sometimes, part of the pain of being alone during the holidays comes from the loss of old traditions. If this resonates with you, consider creating new traditions that feel meaningful to you. Whether it’s spending the day volunteering, cooking a special meal, or taking a nature walk, having activities that bring you peace and joy can fill the day with intention. You get to decide what makes the holiday meaningful for you.

Explore Acts of Kindness

Doing things for others can boost your mood and reduce feelings of isolation. Acts of kindness, such as volunteering at a local shelter, donating to a cause you care about, or even writing letters to residents in nursing homes, can provide a sense of connection and purpose during an otherwise quiet time. This can also help to serve as a check-in for you to think about what you do have to be grateful for.

Limit Social Media Use

We already touched on the idea of social comparison, and the holidays are a prime time for this to surface. If scrolling through social media leaves you feeling worse, give yourself permission to take a break. Replace social media time with an activity that uplifts you, whether it’s watching your favorite movie, journaling, or getting outside.

Activities to Try if You’re Alone This Holiday Season

More people than you think are alone during the holidays. This can be due to loss, being far from home due to work or school, or necessity - when we’ve had to set boundaries with families. Regardless of the reason, loneliness will still creep in. Below are activities you can try or strategies to use based on your situation:

For Individuals:

Volunteer: Volunteering at a shelter, food bank, or community event can be a rewarding way to spend the holidays. Giving back not only helps others but can also boost your mood.
Virtual Gatherings: If you can’t be with family or friends in person, organize a virtual holiday celebration. You can cook together, play games, or just chat over Zoom or FaceTime.
Self-Care Day: Treat yourself to a day of relaxation. Have a spa day at home, watch your favorite movies, or cook a special meal just for yourself.
Start a New Tradition: Create your own holiday traditions. Whether it’s making a unique meal, starting a holiday journal, or taking a scenic walk, it can be fun to try something new.
Holiday Crafting: Engaging in creative activities like crafting holiday decorations, knitting, or baking can bring comfort and help pass the time meaningfully.

For Families:

Holiday Movie Marathon: Watch a series of holiday movies together. Create a cozy atmosphere with blankets, popcorn, and hot cocoa.
Cook or Bake Together: Spend time as a family making a holiday meal or baking festive cookies. Get creative with decorating and have fun in the kitchen.
Play Board Games: Gather the family for a holiday-themed board game or even start a puzzle together. It’s a great way to bond and have fun indoors.
Plan a personal retreat: Use the time to reflect on your goals and create a vision for the upcoming year. Airports are open during the holidays — see if you can plan to get out of town!
DIY Decorations: As a family, make your own holiday decorations, whether it’s stringing lights, making ornaments, or creating a holiday wreath.
Family Walk or Nature Day: If weather permits, bundle up and take a walk in nature. Collecting winter-themed items like pinecones or leaves can be a fun and grounding family activity.

For Couples:

Romantic Holiday Dinner: Prepare a special meal together and enjoy a cozy dinner by candlelight or by the fire. You can make it a yearly tradition.
Memory Book: Create a scrapbook of the past year together. Add photos, write about your favorite memories, and talk about your hopes for the coming year.
Holiday Lights Tour: Drive around your neighborhood or city and look at holiday lights. Play holiday music in the car to set the mood.
Gift Exchange: Exchange meaningful, homemade, or small gifts. Sometimes the simplest things make for the most heartfelt gestures.
Holiday-Themed Puzzle: Work together on a puzzle, whether it’s holiday-themed or just something fun. It’s a calming and rewarding way to spend time together.

For Anyone:

Man taking a virtual cooking class over the holidays

Take a Virtual Holiday Class: Many platforms offer online cooking, crafting, or exercise classes during the holidays. It’s a great way to learn something new.
Connect with Nature: Spend time outdoors if possible, whether it’s taking a walk, going sledding, or visiting a nearby park. Being outside can lift your spirits.
Holiday Karaoke: Create a playlist of your favorite holiday songs and sing along.
Give Back: Find ways to help others. Write holiday cards to people in nursing homes, donate to a charity, pick up litter on the beach, or send a care package to someone in need.

Reaching Out for Help

If the loneliness feels overwhelming, it’s okay to seek help. You don’t have to navigate this alone, and reaching out to a therapist or counselor can provide valuable support. Therapy can offer coping strategies and a safe space to explore the emotions you’re experiencing.

Coping with Loneliness Over the Holidays